Thanks so much for checking it out and leaving feedback!!
The lifeguards typo will be fixed in the next patch. I want to say I’m surprised there were any typos left with how many times we went over everything, but honestly I knew we must have missed something XD
I’ll definitely keep in mind the feedback about the first track.
This was our reasoning for making it that way:
The track is meant to portray both Alex's mental state and physical pain. I think much of the intensity (the heavy bassline) can be attributed to his pounding, uncomfortable and inescapable headache.
Thanks again for the comment, I really appreciate the feedback and hearing that someone enjoyed the game always makes my day :D
I went back and listened to the track again and see (hear?) what you mean. The bassline and one of the other instruments going back and forth certainly convey a pounding headache.
The reason I think it doesn't quite fit is that the track is too aggressive and 'driven' for a moment where Alex is in a state of complete idleness. To me he seems to be continuing in the same state he has existed in for years with a "familiar dull headache". Maybe the music can intensify once Alex describes the "rapidly increasing pain" in his skull.
I don't want to be too much of an armchair composer for your game but I thought it was worth mentioning given how important the opening of a game is.
Thanks for describing this further! And don’t worry, we’re always open to any type of feedback.
I might need to change some of the writing at the beginning of the game, because it sounds like the way his situation was portrayed to you is a bit different to what I intended.
I think you’re on to something and the “familiar dull headache” line in particular gives off more “idle and long-lived existence” than it should. I might try something along the lines of “A familiar dull ceiling hangs above my head, accompanied by a pounding headache that’s quickly threatening to become just as familiar.” (I can definitely still improve that more)
Yes I think there is a bit of a contradiction at the beginning and your changes to fix that sound good.
If you do update the dialogue I would definitely try it out with some new players and see what they think. I may be just be projecting my own state of idleness lol.
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Good game. The story is nice and the sprites and backgrounds are colourful and engaging.
Just a few couple of points of feedback:
- 'Lifeguard' is spelled incorrectly in the chat message by flora beginning with "if i am really drowning...".
- I found the music at the beginning of the game to be somewhat intense and doesn't match the mood the text conveys.
These are very minor though, so overall well done!
Thanks so much for checking it out and leaving feedback!!
The lifeguards typo will be fixed in the next patch. I want to say I’m surprised there were any typos left with how many times we went over everything, but honestly I knew we must have missed something XD
I’ll definitely keep in mind the feedback about the first track.
This was our reasoning for making it that way:
The track is meant to portray both Alex's mental state and physical pain. I think much of the intensity (the heavy bassline) can be attributed to his pounding, uncomfortable and inescapable headache.Thanks again for the comment, I really appreciate the feedback and hearing that someone enjoyed the game always makes my day :D
No problem, happy to help.
I went back and listened to the track again and see (hear?) what you mean. The bassline and one of the other instruments going back and forth certainly convey a pounding headache.
The reason I think it doesn't quite fit is that the track is too aggressive and 'driven' for a moment where Alex is in a state of complete idleness. To me he seems to be continuing in the same state he has existed in for years with a "familiar dull headache". Maybe the music can intensify once Alex describes the "rapidly increasing pain" in his skull.
I don't want to be too much of an armchair composer for your game but I thought it was worth mentioning given how important the opening of a game is.
Thanks for describing this further! And don’t worry, we’re always open to any type of feedback.
I might need to change some of the writing at the beginning of the game, because it sounds like the way his situation was portrayed to you is a bit different to what I intended.
I think you’re on to something and the “familiar dull headache” line in particular gives off more “idle and long-lived existence” than it should. I might try something along the lines of “A familiar dull ceiling hangs above my head, accompanied by a pounding headache that’s quickly threatening to become just as familiar.” (I can definitely still improve that more)
Yes I think there is a bit of a contradiction at the beginning and your changes to fix that sound good.
If you do update the dialogue I would definitely try it out with some new players and see what they think. I may be just be projecting my own state of idleness lol.